On October 9, 2015, Stephen Colbert tempted fate by mocking the Curse of Murphy the Billy Goat. With the Chicago Cubs deep in the playoffs, Colbert performed a skit that showed Billy Goat Sianis and Murphy on The Late Show. He proclaimed that the Cubs will win the World Series and proceeded to eject a poor, innocent baby goat. Within ten days of the incident, Colbert had fallen behind both the Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel Live.

Mr. Colbert should have realized that the Curse has plagued the Cubs for 70 seasons. A goat is good luck. Kicking a goat out of your show is bad luck. This is not the way to start out season 1 of your show.

We’re fans of your show, and we want to help you set this right. Our advice is to let the goat in – permanently. Find a way to include him in your show. Embrace your inner goat. At the very least, give him some season tickets. After all, he was only a kid.

MR COLBERT, LET THE GOAT IN!